Pre-treatment and Post-treatment

Many people knew I undergo treatments. Never ending treatments I can say. Just that they didn’t know what I actually undergo. It’s not really about what goes into my body but it’s more about having the strength to go through. When I first went through it, it was really hard. Being alone made me suffered and it was really pain inside me. I cried all the way. But now, I already used to it. When I had something on after the treatment I would ask for a small dose so I can control the ‘effects’. If not I will just bear with them – down with fever, dizzy and vomiting. Since it was never easy to get help and support so I make sure I have everything ready at home. People have their own life and not many (read: nobody) willing to come and lend me a hand. It was always my bad asking for help from a wrong person at the wrong time. At times I really need someone to comfort me when I’m feeling weak. But many of my so called friends ignored me when I told them I’m going through treatment. So what? To them maybe it’s my routine and nothing they can say or do for me. I expect nothing from them, anyway. I choose to be there whenever they need me and I’m willing to give whatever they ask from me. I understand very well that I may get nothing in return even though deep from my heart I hope to hear from them, at least.

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