Sejak dua hari lepas sehinggalah ke saat ini bertalu-talu mesej Salam Ramadan memasuki inbox telefon. Tidak ketinggalan ucapan melalui Facebook dan juga e-mel. Terima kasih untuk semua yang sudi mengirimkan salam dan ucapan tanda ingatan. Semoga Ramadan ini lebih baik daripada yang terdahulu, InsyaAllah.
Kedatangan Ramadan juga sering dinanti-nantikan oleh adik-adik dan anak-anak di panti asuhan. Sepanjang Ramadan mereka mewah dengan acara berbuka puasa dan berbelanja untuk menyambut lebaran. Alhamdulillah, rezeki untuk mereka kerana pada bulan yang penuh barakah ini, banyak tangan yang menghulur.
Bermula esok dan hari-hari pada awal Ramadan ini InsyaAllah akan kulalui di kamar serba putih itu. Bersempana cuti panjang, inilah masa yang terbaik untuk menunaikan tanggungjawab pada diri sendiri yang sekian lama tertangguh. Ramadan bukan penghalang dan dengan izin-Nya, aku berdoa semoga segala-galanya berjalan dengan lancar. Hati sedikit terusik apabila memikirkan akan melaluinya sendirian. Ada sakit yang lebih sakit. Tapi bukankah aku sudah biasa melalui hampir semuanya sendirian? Tambahan pula, aku telah nekad untuk tidak bercerita apa-apa lagi. Merajuk dan berjauh hatikah aku? Kalau ya, pada siapa?
Walau apa pun terjadi, hidup perlu diteruskan. Kata-kata klise yang sering aku ucapkan namun itulah hakikatnya. Impian yang kian nyata itu tidak harus dilepaskan begitu sahaja. Yang sudah biarkan berlalu. Yang ada kini adalah masa sekarang yang harus diisi, dimanfaat dan dinikmati.
Selamat bertamu, Ramadan...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thanks God for the Strength and Endurance
Yesterday I feel a bit aggrieved because I couldn’t join WOW day. But today I really enjoyed my own WOW day. Thanks God for the strength and endurance. It’s been a while since the last time I truly take life as it is. Sometimes it’s good to put aside all those theories and philosophies of life. Not everyone can understand the language, anyway. This weekend is also my 2nd weekend. Alhamdulillah, I could make it through the ‘thunderstorm’. For sure the journey will continue and it will not last after 3 months. Life is beautiful but it is not a waste to make it more beautiful.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
After A Hectic Day...
Result after a ‘hectic’ day is prohibited from a ‘looking forward’ weekend. I‘m advised not to be in public area due to the weak immune and the low count. It put me in a low spirit though.
Been there done that, why still want more? It’s not something new and I’ve been doing it since then. Why? Because I love it!
Life is beautiful. Enjoy every single day, anyway. If it is to be it is up to me.
Monday, August 10, 2009
I'm Thankful
I supposed to have a quiet weekend up the hill. I was looking forward to it since I really need a revitalization and rejuvenation. But I was advised not to travel out-of-town alone for the time being, not until my BMT is over. I always refer BMT to “Bring Me into Tailspin” which most of the time put me in “unforeseen circumstances”. Sometimes along with BMT, I can be in “Bad Mood Today” mode where I can be at my most vulnerable. This happen almost every time I have to carry on with BMT including last few days. Well, despite the BMT, I chose to make merry in my own way. Yeah…why wait. Let’s live life to the fullest.
Yesterday noon, I fetched my housemate once I’m finished with my routine and we headed to Sg Buloh at the invitation of my friend. Anyway, I decided to leave soonest possible when I was about to engage in a ‘weird’ conversation. I didn’t mind they forgot my name and where I belong to but I couldn’t stand it when they ignored me because of my absence from the group’s activities. You can assume whatever you want to assume but I know what I’m doing. I didn’t do much but at least I didn’t stop for good.
Later in the afternoon I welcomed a group of teenagers from abroad and I really had fun with them. I supposed not to be there as I planned to take a break. My collaborators were in charge but God had a better plan for me. I managed to conduct a session with them and I learned a lot from their sharing.
I also had a great time with another group of friend right after the session. Chatting and eating all night long like no end.
I started my day today again with the routine followed by another session with the teenagers. I shared my experiences and my dreams. I revealed the truth about my life. While I was sharing, I got a message saying God has called one of my peers. May you rest in peace, friend. I know you had a great time at the end of your life.
I felt a sudden terrible pang. I said good-bye and on the spur of the moment I drove to Bukit Kiara. From out of nowhere, I missed my other half so much. I missed listening to his sharing about love and life. I longed to see his shinning eyes and his broad smile when he talked about his passion for people. I missed everything about him and I’m left with the legacy. Time flies and I’m running short of it. I’m beginning, ever so slowly, to think about our legacy. Everything seems to be on the track and expanding well. I’ve been seriously considering the two “A” in collaboration. But both aren’t really my game. No harm to go along with them, anyway. I owe them much. It’s just that I need to take care of so many things especially my well being. I’ll keep on supporting them in whatever way I can and for sure I’ll keep on sharing about both AmericanWay and AsiaWorks.
I heard LRC is coming end October. It’s been a long time since the last one in March. Someone asked if I’m going. I’d love to if they need my support. But it’s no point to be there if I’m not welcome. Besides, I didn’t know much about it. The good old days are over, anyway. The big family seems far apart as everybody move on with their life. I’ve been asked what role I’ve played to get everybody together again. Not really a long list but what can I say, it takes two to tango.
My so called quiet weekend ended up at a beautiful sea view. It brought nostalgia while I sat and watched the glorious sunset.
Out of the blue, a colleague called when I was on my way home, asking if I’m having a great time 3D/2N stay at Colmar. I said that Colmar might turn into a “cold war” later if I was there. Well, it’s just a maybe from my “what if” thinking. Of course I don’t expect it to be like that. I believe that God’s plan is the best despite the fact that I think everything is well planned. Thanks God for the opportunity to be in contribution.
Yesterday noon, I fetched my housemate once I’m finished with my routine and we headed to Sg Buloh at the invitation of my friend. Anyway, I decided to leave soonest possible when I was about to engage in a ‘weird’ conversation. I didn’t mind they forgot my name and where I belong to but I couldn’t stand it when they ignored me because of my absence from the group’s activities. You can assume whatever you want to assume but I know what I’m doing. I didn’t do much but at least I didn’t stop for good.
Later in the afternoon I welcomed a group of teenagers from abroad and I really had fun with them. I supposed not to be there as I planned to take a break. My collaborators were in charge but God had a better plan for me. I managed to conduct a session with them and I learned a lot from their sharing.
I also had a great time with another group of friend right after the session. Chatting and eating all night long like no end.
I started my day today again with the routine followed by another session with the teenagers. I shared my experiences and my dreams. I revealed the truth about my life. While I was sharing, I got a message saying God has called one of my peers. May you rest in peace, friend. I know you had a great time at the end of your life.
I felt a sudden terrible pang. I said good-bye and on the spur of the moment I drove to Bukit Kiara. From out of nowhere, I missed my other half so much. I missed listening to his sharing about love and life. I longed to see his shinning eyes and his broad smile when he talked about his passion for people. I missed everything about him and I’m left with the legacy. Time flies and I’m running short of it. I’m beginning, ever so slowly, to think about our legacy. Everything seems to be on the track and expanding well. I’ve been seriously considering the two “A” in collaboration. But both aren’t really my game. No harm to go along with them, anyway. I owe them much. It’s just that I need to take care of so many things especially my well being. I’ll keep on supporting them in whatever way I can and for sure I’ll keep on sharing about both AmericanWay and AsiaWorks.
I heard LRC is coming end October. It’s been a long time since the last one in March. Someone asked if I’m going. I’d love to if they need my support. But it’s no point to be there if I’m not welcome. Besides, I didn’t know much about it. The good old days are over, anyway. The big family seems far apart as everybody move on with their life. I’ve been asked what role I’ve played to get everybody together again. Not really a long list but what can I say, it takes two to tango.
My so called quiet weekend ended up at a beautiful sea view. It brought nostalgia while I sat and watched the glorious sunset.
Out of the blue, a colleague called when I was on my way home, asking if I’m having a great time 3D/2N stay at Colmar. I said that Colmar might turn into a “cold war” later if I was there. Well, it’s just a maybe from my “what if” thinking. Of course I don’t expect it to be like that. I believe that God’s plan is the best despite the fact that I think everything is well planned. Thanks God for the opportunity to be in contribution.
Friday, August 7, 2009
At This Moment I Wish...
Another BMT in less than 8 hours and I can’t stop feeling nervous and afraid. I feel like cuddling in someone arms. But it is just a wish that will never come true...
Saturday, August 1, 2009
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